Order my new album, Painfully Mainstream, TODAY! Click here to do so: http://dftba.com/pm A lovingly crafted and charmingly rough-around-the-edges music video for Song For The Painfully Indie, probably the most overtly bile-filled track on my new album, Painfully Mainstream. Which you can order today, for delivery. Or get it off iTunes. Or listen to and buy it on Bandcamp. Where it's streaming for free! Yeah! The lovely people who gave their time to help make this video are: recorder player/pervy friend: http://www.youtube.com/charlie band member/club friend: http://www.youtube.com/eddplant bassist/club friend: http://www.youtube.com/moohalaa club friend/bar friend: http://www.youtube.com/lomasca lady bassist: http://www.youtube.com/georgieboom girl in question: http://www.youtube.com/hatticusrex drummer/awesome jumper wearer: http://www.youtube.com/easty1 As well as wonderful friends and family who are NOT INTERNET ENOUGH TO BE REFERRED TO BY URL. Also, thanks to Tom from www.youtube.com/studentbreakfast for helping me edit and colour correct this beast. Tom PS: Lyrics? Oh, go on then. There's a girl there on the dancefloor And I don't know how to greet her Now heterosexuality's Not my defining feature They said skinny jeans and cardigans Were the only way to go But it seems that Oxfam employees Are not the ones who know just how it works Give me a minute While I fiddle with my hair Cause you keep telling me that it looks fine But I'm the one who cares About a good impression being made Cause I'm the one who might get laid Don't tell me how the game is played Don't tell me how the game is played And I don't want to talk to her and take her hand In case she tells me her favourite band is not my favourite band How would I know which drink she'd want me to buy When do I look her in the eye When did the indie music scene become so over-fussed With social inadequacy being such a must Dont' knock me to the ground If I'm already falling It'll only make things worse you know I always knew my calling was the stage This evening's filling me with rage I only wish I had some sage advice to give me The indie handbook volume three would read Show girls you fancy them By getting with their boyfriends Replace your party loving mates With awkward, greasy, coy friends Who like listening to Sonic Youth You always must appear aloof Remember no amount of faking Will make your indie band groundbreaking Don't think you're special or much less of a disgrace Just because you've got yourself a lady who plays bass Don't bother finding somebody to play descant recorder Yeah that won't put you back in working order You haven't got a different sound You aren't part of the underground You haven't been together long So try to write some bloody decent songs The girl's outside now Talking to a taxi driver If she were coming home with me It'd only cost a fiver to my door I'd talk to her but I am sure She must've heard it all before from guys Oh I could cry That's probably the reason why She's dressed just like a lesbian I hear it's quite a craze You can hardly move in pubs For all the lesbians these days But it hardly matters if she's gay It's time to move on anyway I'll see you guys here half past ten Tomorrow evening, do it all again