Top 20 5 Second Films Presented By UPROXX


www.uproxx.com are the top 20 5 Second Videos Presented by UPROXX.com and 5secondfilms.com The rules are simple: 2 seconds of beginning titles, 5 seconds of film, 1 second of end titles. If you take umbrage with these 5sfs running at an actual length of 8 seconds, we can only assume youre no fun at dinner parties. Vote For Your Favorite Here: www.uproxx.com


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5secondfilms Christmas Week


A little girl's revenge on Christmas sends a tactical nuke strike to the North Pole where protesting elves find themselves on the worst naughty list possible.


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5secondfilms Week In Review #164


A sad porno forces the men to build a pillow fort to discuss pressing business about the fascist National Defense Authorization Act which only an electric reindeer can save us.


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Top 20 5 Second Films Presented By UPROXX Part 2


www.uproxx.com are the top 20 5 Second Videos Presented by UPROXX.com and 5secondfilms.com The rules are simple: 2 seconds of beginning titles, 5 seconds of film, 1 second of end titles. If you take umbrage with these 5sfs running at an actual length of 8 seconds, we can only assume you're no fun at dinner parties. Please visit 5SF YouTube page www.youtube.com


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BANNED by 5secondfilms.com


WARNING! It is a Federal Crime to watch this compilation of Banned shorts from 5secondfilms.com


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5secondfilms Week In Review #162


Hazy memories of the being under the boardwalk drives a shepherd mad when he picks up a hitchhiker and can't find his sexy British matron in the clouds.


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Richard Bitter's Favorite Joke


He's the kind of guy who loves afternoon open mics at the Laugh Factory, but only when the comedian bombs so horribly that they kill themselves onstage and their whole family watches.


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5secondfilms Halloween Week


Happy Halloween from 5secondfilms!


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Professor Pigeon


Pigeons typically don't get tenure. But his discourse on Proust is thrilling to behold.


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To Catch a Predator


Is it quibbling that Mr. Bucket asked children to put the balls in his top, and that in fact they would come out of his mouth? I guess hes in hot water no matter what here.


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Death Ray From Space (Special Edition)


World-renowned filmmaker Brian Firenzi delves back into the 5-Second Films archive to revise, rewrite and restore old 5sfs in his original vision. The first in a week-long series, "Death Ray From Space," gives us all a look inside the mind of a put-upon savant whose only constraints are money, time, and lack of digital innovation at the time of filming. With commentary by the filmmaker.


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Socks and Sandals


Something about the two items just "go" together. Kinda like fire and kerosene. Chlorine and bleach. Peanut butter and dogshit.


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Starving Writer


The great authors all have pages and pages of unpublished, delicious mealuscripts. Thoreau has a secret Walden chapter on "Paprika" that few have ever read, much less tasted.


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Subliminal Message


If you do this with an old ELO record, it tells you to put on some goddamn cotton gloves if you're going to touch it any more. The last Boards of Canada LP tells you to only use distilled water when cleaning the vinyl. They don't really add to the song, but they're helpful to know nonetheless.


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Bowzer!


Bowzer previously signed his owner up for the National Guard, listed him in the local sex offender registry, and artfully directed a runaway boulder into his company carpool. But this, this is well, maybe the last straw. Second to last straw. Or not.


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Another Monday


Even worse, you have to file every body with a matching TPS report in the back room. Every time. Or the underboss will catch you.


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Clark Kent's Close Call


At the Daily Planet's white elephant Christmas party, Clark wound up getting the gag gift: A pair of dorky, oversized, Stay-On glasses and a custom shirt with the words Definitely Not Superman puff-painted on. "Very funny, everyone," he chuckled a little too loudly. "Very funny indeed."


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You Got Mail


Postal workers don't get overtime for de-rezzing, either. It was just a real bummer of a Sunday all around.


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FRIENDSHIP by 5secondfilms.com


Friends help you move. Real friends help you move a body.


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Guilt Food


The Ivetouchedlittleboysenberry flavor is a personal favorite. [gets put on government watchlist]


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Don't Thinko De Mayo/Don't Sinko Into De Struction


shut the fuck up


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5secondfilms Week in Review #96


A couch attacks a waking man during a freak BBQ Bean explosion. No snacks survived.


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Real Estate


They bought the place in the end, but only because it came with a butler (who later turned out to be a slumming Bronsot Pinchot in a motion-tracking ping-pong-ball suit).


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My Almost Psychic Friend


He's great at narrowing your choices down from 14 to 13 at any given racetrack.


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Osama Bin Laden's Final Video


Reddit! tinyurl.com Favorite it if you liked the video! ... It was when they answered the door as "Pizza Hut" that he knew something was awry. Only Domino's had the sweet pizza-tracker app that let you know just how soon you'd get your piping-hot pie. Besides, there wasn't a Hut for miles in Pakistan. But as he dove for his AK, the door burst open and he realized it was too late - so instead, he celebrated his last moments on Earth with a hearty gulp of Mountain Dew Code Red.


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Chin Up


If this is what they call "chin music," then it sounds like Tom Waits covering "Everybody Hurts" on a broken piano next to a dying dog.


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Pregnancy Scare


SIDE EFFECTS OF PUTINESTRA INCLUDE (BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO): Drowsiness, blowsiness, frowniness, constant explosive urination, skin discoloration, metallic discharge from the mouth and pores, and getting a little bit chunky there aren't we bitch.


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Week in Review #138


A car thief pinky swears to his therapist not to give away the location of his BBQ chicken-filled treasure chest, but spills his daddy issues instead.


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5secondfilms Week in Review #93


College tuition payments force Barry Ouelette to look for work so WWII fighter pilots can pull pranks on unsuspecting hospital patients. A New Film Every Week Day at 5secondfilms.com!


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Arabian Wipes


No one was home. It took forever to waddle down to the gas station with his cheeks clenched. And yet, the shameful walk back somehow felt even longer.


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5secondfilms Week in Review #150


After taking too many expired prescriptions drugs a smiling Mormon uses a yo-yo to strangle the tooth fairy who is holding his rock band back.


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5secondfilms Week in Review #88


Another week another round up of the daily videos found at 5secondfilms.com. There is some stuff with a girl and some skateboarding and some regretting and some heavy petting.


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The Tweet Of Life


In this stunning visual essay on youth, nature, fathers, mothers, brothers, and man's place in the universe, 5secondfilms explores new terri


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Getting to Know Her


There is a battle that rages in all men, between the cordial fellow attempting conversation and the wounded, jealous cad expecting athletic sex in the near-future. Woe unto the red and white Battleship (TM) pieces that are caught in such a crossfire of the soul.


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Hypnotic Southern General


Photos going back as far as the Battle of Appomattox seem to include him, at least somewhere in the background. They're blurry, but he appears to be hiding something fat, bleeding and tastefully dressed, almost entirely underneath his coat. The look on his face is one of both steely determination and demented purpose.


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Explosion: The Movie


The long awaited trailer for the blockbuster film EXPLOSION: THE MOVIE! A 103-second film by 5secondfilms.com


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5secondfilms Week in Review#131


It's a dog's world when a friend dies in a freak pigeon pecking incident, leaving the mourners to cry a tear-a-masooooooo because they still have exams.


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THE KITCHEN SINK by 5secondfilms.com


Brevity may be the soul of wit, but Bill Shakespeare doesn't seem too enthused by this compilation of shorts from 5secondfilms.com.


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The Final Battle


In the Land of Fyffynthoth, most of the demonic winged creatures are actually just friendly dudes who are trying to get you anything you may want - lollies, more TV time, a scoop of ice cream. But Malazar the Wizard was having none of that bunk.


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An American in New York


Later, he was asked for directions to 5th and Broadway, and proceeded to bullshit an entire family into somehow taking a Central Park horse-drawn carriage into the Lincoln Tunnel. It was then that he became a true New Yorker.


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Awesome Ways To Fire People #82


This manual was published in the spring of '86, with helpful full-color photos in the middle. Sadly, time has been cruel to the pages of AWTFP, but we've got a crack book restoration team, working around the clock to uncover more bodacious firing tactics. We'll let you know of our progress as it develops.


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Red White And Screwed


There are many ways to donate to the needy people of Wall Street: A token contribution out of every paycheck you earn, not complaining about losing your job when the needy decide to outsource it, or continuing to vote _______________ (insert political party you don't belong to).


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HEROES AND VILLAINS by 5secondfilms.com


There really isn't much of a difference.


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WTF? by 5secondfilms.com


You get a Gold Star for the day if you can make sense of any of these WTF? shorts from 5secondfilms.com.


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COPS AND ROBBERS by 5secondfilms.com


There is no honor among 5secondfilms.com.


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Father & Son


Good thing he at least taught him how to do other father-son activities beforehand, such as arrange a burial, help draft a will, drive a car, and stand somberly over a grave. Otherwise Junior would be in a pretty tight spot here.


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5secondfilms Week In Review #163


Andrew WK plays whack-a-dude in the Winter time up in space to celebrate the engagement of his enemies, but he has none cause he's awesome.


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The First Hard Drive


He reappeared back in his future-year of 2004 as the lowly son of a stonecutter in a world built on vine pulleys and towering tree fortresses. They also had these useless, futuristic-looking cubes with strange letterboards tethered to them, and no one had any clue why they existed in every home. He whistled conspicuously to himself and got back to stonecutting.


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ARMAGEDDON by 5secondfilms.com


THE END IS NEAR. Luckily this compilation from 5sf won't take long to watch.


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Save The Date


They should have paid attention in class, when they played an instructional video on how to survive a potential baby shower. Always duck and cover your boobs (note: For lactating women only).


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